The following is something I posted on a different, dead blog last summer. I thought it was interesting in light of the contemplations of what faith really is. I am currently reading a John Piper book. Christian Hedonism at it's best. What's struck me is that my pursuit - even my pursuit is by God's grace. It is not just the obtaining of joy and grace and faith, but it is the perfecting process. Sometimes I have duh moments. I love to quote Hebrews 12:2 to myself to remind me of where my eyes should be - Let us fix our eyes on the author and perfector of our faith . . . . or it is God's grace that is now opening my eyes to the fullness of this verse.
Irregardless, I hope the following is interesting regarding the journey and process - - - only 9 months ago, I was barely holding on by a tiny string . . .(or was I?)
I was struck with this thought as I was driving who knows where the other day . . oh, I can remember my exact location as I had this thought. I was going under the myriad of bridges on Beckley returning "home" from taking my brother to work listening to the "Calvary Hour" on am radio on 7 or 8 hundred something.
I was contemplating my relationship with the good Lord Jesus.
I thought to myself how selfish my pursuit of Christ really is. I really don't want to spend eternity in hell separated from Christ but sometimes I feel that that is the only tiny string left between me and faith. So I wondered if that was enough. Would only having that little string attaching me to faith really be enough to merit entrance into heaven. SO I returned in my head to Jesus' words. Our most quoted verse - John 3:16 . . that those who believe in Him might not perish but have everlasting life. Well, I believe. I believe He is the son of God. But is that still really enough?
I come from such a mixed background. Growing up that was enough. We didn't regularly attend church (though we did listen to sermons more than once or even twice a week). Bible college that began to not be enough . . . of course, consider the setting.
Even still though, Faith to me always begs the question of works. I love James - - "Show me your faith without the works, and I will show you my faith by my works." (2:18) If my faith isn't producing good works, do I really have faith at all?
If I die, and I find out it wasn't enough or if I didn't quite make the grade, and I have to spend eternity without Christ . . . . I will feel like Paul Giamatti's character in "Lady in the Water" . . . . I will weep as if my heart has broken and could never be put back together. Just the thought, conjured up a depth of emotion I rarely feel. That's when I realized it's not enough . . . .
And yet, at the moment, it's all I have.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Lessons from a 2nd Grader
I have a student who often causes me much room to pause and contemplate. (mostly because I must pause in order to restrain myself from strangling him.)
I contemplate him often because he is such a paradox to me. He is such a rebellious little guy yet he has this great potential for sensitivity and helpfulness.
So what does any of this have to do with wisdom? A good majority of my other students want to be like him. I see them swarming around him like little bees and he often complains about them following him around. I see them imitating him and copping his little attitude.
What makes them like him so much? I wondered if it is because of his knowledge. He has a 17 year old brother. He knows things beyond the average 2nd grader. Even in the way he carries himself. Most of my students are awkward and goofy. He is just cool and at times I think calculating. Do they want to be like him because our desire for knowledge is in innate? Our desire to fit in and be cool is innate? What is the draw?
I admit that while I want to strangle him, I can't help but like him.
I contemplate him often because he is such a paradox to me. He is such a rebellious little guy yet he has this great potential for sensitivity and helpfulness.
So what does any of this have to do with wisdom? A good majority of my other students want to be like him. I see them swarming around him like little bees and he often complains about them following him around. I see them imitating him and copping his little attitude.
What makes them like him so much? I wondered if it is because of his knowledge. He has a 17 year old brother. He knows things beyond the average 2nd grader. Even in the way he carries himself. Most of my students are awkward and goofy. He is just cool and at times I think calculating. Do they want to be like him because our desire for knowledge is in innate? Our desire to fit in and be cool is innate? What is the draw?
I admit that while I want to strangle him, I can't help but like him.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Faith versus Belief
Are faith and belief separate ideas? Can you have belief and not have faith? If faith or belief do not impact my life, do I really have faith or belief?
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Resurrection LIFE in 2007
This is from Pastor Dan as preached on Sunday. I thought it was fitting with my question regarding the abundant life.
Would you rather be an Ephesians 2:10 or Luke 7:30 believer?
LIFE is not a list a list of rules, etc.
It is Freedom, rest, truth, significance, love, joy, peace, patience, hope, adventure.
Learning about and resting in God's love. John 17:3
Investing in growing God's kingdom. Ephesians 2:10
(we all desire to be part of something transcendent . . . . evangelism and discipleship.)
John 4:34 - My food is to to do the will of my Father in heaven. This looks different for everyone. "The quality of a person's life exists in the quality of a person's relationships."
Following Christ's example of dependence on the Father. Be so following Christ that you are aware of God's leading. Like Peter with the Ethiopian!
Exchanging my life for His. John 12:24 LIfe is found in death . . . in laying down my agenda!!!
Would you rather be an Ephesians 2:10 or Luke 7:30 believer?
LIFE is not a list a list of rules, etc.
It is Freedom, rest, truth, significance, love, joy, peace, patience, hope, adventure.
Learning about and resting in God's love. John 17:3
Investing in growing God's kingdom. Ephesians 2:10
(we all desire to be part of something transcendent . . . . evangelism and discipleship.)
John 4:34 - My food is to to do the will of my Father in heaven. This looks different for everyone. "The quality of a person's life exists in the quality of a person's relationships."
Following Christ's example of dependence on the Father. Be so following Christ that you are aware of God's leading. Like Peter with the Ethiopian!
Exchanging my life for His. John 12:24 LIfe is found in death . . . in laying down my agenda!!!
Friday, April 13, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Active Faith and A Testimonial
From The Christians Secret of a Happy Life by Hannah Whitall Smith
Perhaps I am too selfish to be able to enter completely into the abundant life this side of heaven. Perhaps I am selfish to even desire it. I am A.W. Tozer's picture of most evangelical Christians . . . .
Something seemed missing to me at 16 from the bland faith I witnessed about me and in my own life. I recall asking my youth pastor if the gospel we were preaching was really all there was to it. I was a "Sunday Christian" in the sense that I went to church and was active in my youth group, but I was or felt no different from any of my "secular" classmates. Was I different? I was saved from hell but was that all there was to it?
At 18, I had had enough. I didn't even know if I really believed that God existed. I attempted to X Him from my life. Yet, all along there was a still small voice and a longing in my soul to long for my Creator even if I didn't want to long. I remember praying every night for the desire to want God. I was known as "the Christian" but I felt the exact opposite. I didn't have faith, I did not even know Christ.
At 19, on a missions trip to Honduras I began to see that there was the possibility for a different life. How could people with nothing material and many with physical ailments be so joyful in their walk with God? Why weren't they complaining? Why were they blessing me? How were they able to bless me?
At 21, I entered Bible College and listened to talk of DL Moody, CS Lewis, Nate Saint, Brother Lawrence, George Mueller . . . I wondered why it seemed like no one in our century or country was striving for faith. All about, we were endlessly striving but we were weary and disconnected. Or I saw "perfect" Christians, who did not drink, smoke, do drugs, fornicate, curse, etc etc etc, the list goes on, but who were also harsh, unkind and arrogant in their treatment of others (myself included much of the time or either swinging dangerously between the two extremes). Was being Christian merely the absence of those obvious vices or was not being a Christian also about having the fruit of the Spirit?
At 23, I attempted to strive to be found in Christ alone and to have a faith like George Mueller. I even have a record in my Bible of a confession I made that I realized my quest for perfection of faith was sin. Yet, I was already running hard. Like Tozer says in his article, it's quite impossible to literally crucify ourselves. At 24, I found myself in a mental institution.
At 28, reading Hannah Whitall Smith, William Wilberforce, John Piper, I find myself still pondering the same questions. Jesus afterall did not merely forgive people their sins when He walked this earth, He freed them from its power. Why should I not expect and believe He is doing the same for me? Do we not experience such because we doubt much? Are we like the people that Smith talks about, we walk about in glum saying "Well, I've tried everything I could. Now I only have prayer." Should we not turn this the other way and begin every endeavor, every thought with the Lordship of Christ?
It is the law of the spiritual life that every act of trust makes the next act less difficult, until at length, if these acts are persisted in, trusting becomes, like breathing, the natural unconscious action of the redeemed soul. You must therefore PUT YOUR WILL INTO BELIEVING. Your faith must not be a passive imbecility, but an ACTIVE ENERGY. (emphases bloggers)The only thing I could add to this would be to put it into slightly more modern language. My question would be one which I have pondered on and off since I was 16. Is it enough to call myself a Christian merely because I call Jesus savior? Must I not also consider Him Lord if I am to be truly saved? Perhaps calling Him savior will allow me into heaven by the skin of my teeth. I will escape eternal death with zinged pants. But what of the abundant life?
Perhaps I am too selfish to be able to enter completely into the abundant life this side of heaven. Perhaps I am selfish to even desire it. I am A.W. Tozer's picture of most evangelical Christians . . . .
Most of us walk the tight rope between God's way and man's way. God's way is too costly, so we refuse to follow it completely. But we're afraid to go our own way. So we go partly God's way and partly our own way. We allow God to trouble our way, but we also trouble God's way. The obvious result is a confused and weakened sort of Christian life. (check out urbana.org for the full article)"The obvious result is a confused and weakened sort of Christian life." The obvious result?!? The obvious result?! But we live with the obvious result. We accept it. We do not even know to long for a richer fuller life. Most of our books tend toward this interpretation. That it is not possible or they tend toward a life so full of "working" that instead of striving for belief, I am continually striving for righteousness. What is the balance?
Something seemed missing to me at 16 from the bland faith I witnessed about me and in my own life. I recall asking my youth pastor if the gospel we were preaching was really all there was to it. I was a "Sunday Christian" in the sense that I went to church and was active in my youth group, but I was or felt no different from any of my "secular" classmates. Was I different? I was saved from hell but was that all there was to it?
At 18, I had had enough. I didn't even know if I really believed that God existed. I attempted to X Him from my life. Yet, all along there was a still small voice and a longing in my soul to long for my Creator even if I didn't want to long. I remember praying every night for the desire to want God. I was known as "the Christian" but I felt the exact opposite. I didn't have faith, I did not even know Christ.
At 19, on a missions trip to Honduras I began to see that there was the possibility for a different life. How could people with nothing material and many with physical ailments be so joyful in their walk with God? Why weren't they complaining? Why were they blessing me? How were they able to bless me?
At 21, I entered Bible College and listened to talk of DL Moody, CS Lewis, Nate Saint, Brother Lawrence, George Mueller . . . I wondered why it seemed like no one in our century or country was striving for faith. All about, we were endlessly striving but we were weary and disconnected. Or I saw "perfect" Christians, who did not drink, smoke, do drugs, fornicate, curse, etc etc etc, the list goes on, but who were also harsh, unkind and arrogant in their treatment of others (myself included much of the time or either swinging dangerously between the two extremes). Was being Christian merely the absence of those obvious vices or was not being a Christian also about having the fruit of the Spirit?
At 23, I attempted to strive to be found in Christ alone and to have a faith like George Mueller. I even have a record in my Bible of a confession I made that I realized my quest for perfection of faith was sin. Yet, I was already running hard. Like Tozer says in his article, it's quite impossible to literally crucify ourselves. At 24, I found myself in a mental institution.
At 28, reading Hannah Whitall Smith, William Wilberforce, John Piper, I find myself still pondering the same questions. Jesus afterall did not merely forgive people their sins when He walked this earth, He freed them from its power. Why should I not expect and believe He is doing the same for me? Do we not experience such because we doubt much? Are we like the people that Smith talks about, we walk about in glum saying "Well, I've tried everything I could. Now I only have prayer." Should we not turn this the other way and begin every endeavor, every thought with the Lordship of Christ?
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